Top 10 differences between playing softball at age 21 and age 51
By Leland Sapp
1.
At 21, a squeeze play was bunting a runner in from third. At 51, it's
trying to get into the shorts I wore last year.
2.
Before a game at 21, I always took a couple of swings. Now I skip
batting practice and take a couple of ibuprofen.
3.
At 21, a dirty uniform was a badge for playing hard and diving for
the ball. Now, at 51, the stains are from losing my balance while
missing a ball as it goes by.
4.
At 21, swinging for the fences was rewarded by rounding the bases and
sliding safely into home. Now when I swing for the fences, I land
dizzily on home plate before I even get to first base!
5.
At 21, they put me in the outfield because I chased down fly balls
like a cheetah chasing down gazelles. Now, because of I have bum
knees, they put me into catch at the plate like a wounded water
buffalo waiting
to be eaten at a watering hole.
to be eaten at a watering hole.
6.
At 21, if a ball went through my legs it was because of a bad bounce.
Now if a ball goes between my legs it’s because I couldn’t reach
the damn thing anyway.
7.
At 21, I used to argue with the ump when he called me out on a close
play at first.
Now
I praise him for making a good call because I’m too winded to run
anymore anyway.
8.
I used to slide hard into bases on close plays. Now I yell “Whoa
Nelly!” as I try to defy the laws of physics and come to a halt
before plowing over the twig of a second basemen waiting to tag me
out.
9.
After a game I couldn't wait for beers on ice. Now I can't wait for
my knees to be on ice.
10.
At 21 I used to get pissed if the opposing team showed up late. Now I
hope they don’t show up so I can pack up my s#*t and go home to
watch the game!
