"No drug, not even alcohol, causes the fundamental ills of society. If we're looking for the source of our troubles, we shouldn't test people for drugs, we should test them for stupidity, ignorance, greed and love of power" "Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys."
"Always read something that will make you look good if you die in the middle of it."
"You know your children are growing up when they stop asking you where they came from and refuse to tell you where they're going."
"Marijuana never kicks down your door in the middle of the night. Marijuana never locks up sick and dying people, does not suppress medical research, does not peek in bedroom windows. Even if one takes every reefer madness allegation of the prohibitionists at face value, marijuana prohibition has done far more harm to far more people than marijuana ever could."
"Feeling good about government is like looking on the bright side of any catastrophe. When you quit looking on the bright side, the catastrophe is still there."
"America wasn't founded so that we could all be better. America was founded so
we could all be anything we damned well pleased"
"Making fun of born-again Christians is like hunting dairy cows with a high powered rifle and scope."
"The free market is ugly and stupid, like going to the mall; the unfree market is just as ugly and just as stupid, except there is nothing in the mall and if you don't go there they shoot you."
"Everybody wants to save the Earth; nobody wants to help Mom do the dishes."
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